Announcements

In memoriam
Leo Allen, Jr.
Honeysuckle Lane

Robert (Bob) Somrak
Sagewood Lane

Mary Webster
Blue Spruce Trail

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Announcement #1
Official Winter Weather Announcement

Dear Esteemed Residents,

As snow and ice grace our picturesque neighborhood, we would like to remind you of our Winter Wonderland Compliance Guidelines. Snowmen are permitted but must adhere to the approved height limit of 4 feet, wear approved scarves, and have /read-more symmetrical carrot noses (no crooked vegetables, please).

Driveways must be shoveled within 37 minutes of snowfall cessation, and all snow piles must be sculpted into tasteful topiary shapes—preferably swans or HOA logos.

Additionally, any icicles longer than 3 inches must be reported to the Icicle Safety Committee for immediate removal. Failure to comply may result in mandatory attendance at our “Snow Etiquette 101” seminar.

Thank you for keeping our community as pristine as a freshly fallen snowflake!

Warm regards (but not too warm, we don’t want the snow melting prematurely),
News In The Woods

“It’s Five O’clock Somewhere”

Dave sat at his desk, staring at the clock as it ticked slower than a snail on vacation. His coworker, Linda, leaned over and whispered, “You know, it’s five o’clock somewhere.” Without missing a beat, Dave grabbed a coconut from his lunch

Snow

bag, stuck a pencil in it like a makeshift umbrella, and poured his coffee into it. “Cheers to tropical time zones,” he said, sipping his sad excuse for a piña colada. Linda laughed, “Dave, it’s 10 a.m. in Hawaii, too.” He shrugged, “Close enough. Aloha, spreadsheets!”

now what?

Let it slide

Why don’t snowmen ever get into arguments?
Because they just let it slide—no need to have a meltdown!